In the beautifully complex journey of motherhood, where challenges abound, it’s easy to confuse ‘hard’ with ‘bad.’ Abbie Halberstadt’s “Hard Is Not The Same Thing As Bad“, written from her heart as a Christian homeschool mother of 10, offers an uplifting and challenging message: the difficulties we face in motherhood are not indicators of misfortune, but instruments of God’s sanctifying work.

About The Book

In her book, Halberstadt explores a range of experiences that mothers face – from the struggle to make meaningful friendships, to the commitment required in nurturing a healthy marriage. Her central theme, “Hard is not the same thing as bad,” resonates through each chapter, conveying that difficult circumstances, like parenting challenging children or extending forgiveness, are God’s tools for molding us more into His image, as described in Romans 5:3-5.

Her candid and open-hearted approach to embracing God’s sovereign plan for her family provides a model of faith and resilience. Abbie’s vivid depiction of the joys and trials of a large family, while heartwarming, may stir feelings of envy or longing in readers who yearn for such blessings. However, Halberstadt approaches this topic with a gentle sensitivity, acknowledging the varied paths of motherhood, including those who walk the road of infertility, adoption, or fostering.

Halberstadt’s narrative is not just a recount of her experiences, but a reflection of biblical principles. One of the book’s strengths is Abbie’s ability to blend firm guidance with gentle humor, similar to that of an older sister’s love and wisdom. Her stories and insights serve as practical applications of Titus 2:4-5, guiding young women to love their families, live with dignity and kindness, and find strength and joy in their faith.

Her message is clear: the hard moments are not the bad moments. They are divinely appointed opportunities for growth, sanctification, and a deeper understanding of God’s love and grace. This book is a call to embrace these moments, not with resignation, but with the joy and hope that comes from knowing they are part of God’s grand design for our lives as mothers…even toddler tantrums. 

A Quote and a Question

“Without a biblical perspective on hard things, we will default to a cheap contentment that only sighs with relief when our circumstances match our desires (which, let’s be honest, is no contentment at all).”

(page 26)

• In light of the truth that the difficulties we face in motherhood are instruments of God’s sanctifying work, how can embracing this perspective transform our reaction to the ‘hard’ aspects of parenting?
• True contentment is not merely about achieving what we desire but finding peace and satisfaction beyond the fluctuating circumstances of life. How can we cultivate contentment that is not dependent on the fulfillment of our desires but anchored in the knowledge that God is at work in us and our families in the hard moments of life?